Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize