how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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