I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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