I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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