I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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