tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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