im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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