Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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