i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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