Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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