Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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