she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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