I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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