i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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