I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize