omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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