I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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