I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize