I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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