:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize