Do you still have your period?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize