who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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