its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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