Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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