But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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