why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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