May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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