Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize