There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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