any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
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Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize