Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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