Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
even my farts smell like vagina
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize