Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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