do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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