U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize