he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
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Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My feet surprised me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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