Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize