Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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