it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize