I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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