I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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