Have you finally orgasmed yet?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize