i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Everyone says I win the strip club
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize