Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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