Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
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Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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