Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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