I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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