My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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