i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize