i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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